There’s a special kind of heartache that comes with saying goodbye to a duty station that felt more like home than just another stop along the way. Maybe it was the neighborhood where your kids took their first steps, the street where you made lifelong friends, or the quiet routines that finally made the chaos of military life feel steady.
Whatever it was, it mattered—and leaving it behind isn’t easy.
PCS season often comes with its own whirlwind of logistics, checklists, and to-do’s, but what’s rarely talked about is the emotional toll of uprooting a life you’ve lovingly built. It’s okay to grieve the goodbye, to feel a lump in your throat when you drive past your favorite coffee shop one last time, or to tear up at the sight of an empty home that once held so many memories.
But just like every chapter that’s come before, this move holds the possibility of something beautiful, too.
Here are some ways we’ve found to help you adjust to your new duty station while still holding on to what made the last one so special:
1. Take your time to feel it all
Don’t rush to “move on.” Give yourself space to process the transition. Journal about your favorite moments, have one more dinner with friends, take photos of places that hold memories. That closure matters, and it is okay to feel all the feels.
2. Carry traditions with you
Whether it’s a Friday night family walk, a monthly dinner with friends, or your favorite bakery run—try to recreate those small comforts at your new station. They can ground you while you settle in, and help keep those memories alive.
3. Get curious, not overwhelmed
It’s easy to compare, especially when you loved where you were. But try to approach your new town with curiosity. Find a local shop, join a spouse group, or ask neighbors for their go-to spots—it might take time, but connection will come.
4. Reach out, even when it’s hard
Making new friends can feel exhausting, but remember: every strong connection you’ve had started with a first hello. Give it time, give it effort, and be gentle with yourself as you open up to new people.
5. Remind yourself: home is built, not found
What made your last duty station feel like home wasn’t just the place—it was the love, energy, and memories you poured into it. And you have the power to do that again, wherever the military sends you next.
Saying goodbye is hard, but we promise, it's not the end—it’s just a new beginning wrapped in the familiar ache of change. And while the zip code might change, the strength, resilience, and heart you carry as a military spouse will always go with you.
So here’s to the place you’re leaving… and to the one that’s waiting to become home, too.
